Every language has nuances; I’ve lived in many countries and have learned this the hard way. I speak (or can survive) in several. After 25-plus years of marriage and annual visits to Terceira in the Portuguese Azores, you’d think I’d have a better handle on the lingo…so today shouldn’t have been a surprise. To Wit:
- When the wife says the new house needs cleaning, I should expect some assignments. I was slightly surprised (and downright happy) when she said “You can work on your tan and the water is great.” No, in Portuguese, that means “The new hose for cleaning the sidewalks at the house has warm water, and you can take your shirt off and get sun while you’re cleaning windows and scrubbing the aluminum window tracks.”
- My old Leatherman tool has been in the family for years. It has taken stitches out of legs in the Sahara, cleaned untold game animals when needed, fixed motorcycles, cars, dorm furniture, office furniture, etc. So when it was shipped by mistake, I reluctantly picked up a newer, more versatile Leatherman with 19 tools on it. 19 tools! You get the idea. So imagine my surprise and pride when she asked if she could borrow my new Leatherman…finally, years of lectures and patient education have paid off! After her initial discovery that it was sharp (doh) she put a band aid on her thumb and handed me the tool. “Go around the house, there are little patches of glue on the tile floor, and this will scrape it off.” Nineteen tools with which I can rebuild a motorcycle, and I use the large knife to clean the floor?
- The island also has it’s own vision test. When I’m driving my father-in-laws truck, I usually can see the trucks or donkey carts coming out of the right had lane on a circle…and slow down to get by. I thought this showed I had good vision. WRONG! The real test is when the wife comes around every inch of the 1900-square-foot (665 square meter) house with a tile floor and stone window and door ledges and says “You missed that blue paint spot here” and “Can’t you see that glue drip…from now on, after you’ve scraped it, run your fingers over the floor to see if you got it all.” So how is it that she can see a drop of paint and totally miss that I just spilled oil all over my jacket?
So if you’re adjusting to a foreign culture, you need either a lot of patience, a very understanding wife/warden/supervisor, or you need a lot to drink!!! Guess which one I recommend:)
Just remember you heard it from me first:) And good news, tomorrow I get to clean under the new refrigerator! Moving to a new land is not challenging, you’ll still end up cleaning under the refrigerator..as if every house guest looks there first!