Some college classes continue to reaffirm life; My Michigan State University Anthropology 101 class taught “How a culture handles death tells us a great deal about that culture.” This week this was reaffirmed by the culture in my adopted home…a great man lost his battle with cancer, and my friends and family banded together to say farewell to him in the style he lived…with love, support, and great food!
Traditions here are different; they don’t embalm, schedule, and arrange things well in advance. When the call came that his breathing was changing, we took the lunch out of oven and rushed to the hospital. (After months of expectations and seeing him suffer, it was with mixed emotions; but it is always painful). Procedurally they selected a casket, dressed him in his vestments as a lay minister, and friends and family stayed with him until midnight, then returned the next morning, had a mass at 2 p.m. and buried him with his first wife in the same grave we wash weekly.
Tough times call for tough measures, and many friends came out, not only to pay last respects to a long-time friend and neighbor, but to bring food, comfort, and hundreds of stories about Tony to his grieving family. We knew he was a great friend to many; I for one had no idea how many.
I met many friends again, some I hadn’t seen since our wedding many years ago. Some we see nearly every week; family we see nearly every day. We all had our thoughts and prayers, but we all had each other for support. That’s the way he raised his family, and that’s the way every family here is raised. So embracing a new culture isn’t always hard, its sometimes extremely comforting in tough times.
We all miss him already; but he taught us all to move on with our lives, help each other, and remember him. Hell, I miss him already!